01 Nov Small Group FAQs

No matter how long your church has had small groups, there always seems to be some questions and unique circumstances that can catch leaders off guard. And while there can never be a “training manual” or blog that will 100% prepare you, some basic knowledge on how to keep calm, give appropriate responses, and lead the group can drastically help. Below are some frequently run into questions and circumstances and some suggested responses that could help. Now before looking at them, remember, one of the best things a small group leader can do is be discerning and observant. A lot of the time, this will help tremendously with deciding how you need to respond to people and deal with certain situations.

*The “Talker”

Every group seems to have one, and you know who they are. They just can’t seem to stop talking. They run the entire small group discussion and lead you down rabbit trails so long, you forget how you got there. This is a common issue that needs to be dealt with in small groups. Other people often don’t add to the discussion simply because they feel like this person will “cover” everything in their answer.

Response:

Begin discussion by saying that the best groups are ones where everyone can talk. Throw yourself under the bus and say sometimes I have a tendency to talk a lot so tonight, I am going to pull back a little. If you find yourself in the same boat, try to pull back tonight and allow those who don’t talk as much to have a chance to say something.

If this still doesn’t slow down the talker, consider approaching them privately and ask them to help you lead the discussion by encouraging people to talk and share their opinions.

*The Silence

Awkward silence. We all hate it. So much so that we usually fill it by talking. But then we end up being the ones who talk the most and who wants to talk after the teacher thoroughly explained everything? So what do you do?

Response:

The best thing you as a small group leader can do is to talk as little as possible. You should be facilitating discussion, not teaching. And because of this, there will be awkward silence, embrace it. Chances are what feel like 2 minutes of awkward silence is really only 5-10 seconds. People need time to think up of an answer and then respond. If there is no response after 10 seconds, it might be possible that people in your group don’t understand exactly what they are supposed to be talking about. Rephrase the question, or ask if there needs to be clarification. Then be quiet and wait for someone to talk.

The Debate:

I don’t know if you have ever been in a group where this has happened but believe me, it’s super awkward. Two people give two totally different perspectives and the debate between them begins. Now don’t confuse debate with healthy discussion. It’s okay for people to disagree and be able to talk to hear each other’s view, but once a full on debate starts, it gets awkward for everyone else and it no longer healthy to your group and it needs to stop!

Response:

Don’t be afraid to interrupt. Be polite, suggest that the group has maybe gotten off topic a little and it needs to be directed back to group discussion and move on. If the debate continues, it’s up to you as the leader to stop it and let them know that small groups is not the place for debating, it’s a place for discussion and life transformation. It’s not the correct environment for that to happen.

For other ways to create a healthy small group ministry, check out our video summary on Small Groups with Purpose.